Friday, July 20, 2012

Who Let The Dogs Out!

I was in the kitchen yesterday and a big yellow lab jumped in my back pond.  The pond is a small kidney shaped thing, about as big as the dog.  He trashed the plants, but was having a great time.  Turns out he had a brother, about the same size, who decided to join him.  After much yelling and pulling on their collars, I dragged the dogs out of the pond.

I decide to put them in the garage, until I could get the police to pick them up.  Yes, the police actually do this in Cedarburg. Not much else happens around here. 

As I'm putting the dogs in the garage, 3 little boys show up and announce that they know where the dogs live.  I put a rope through both dogs collars and the four of us set out to bring the dogs home. Only two blocks away.  What can happen....... 

One block down, the dogs see another dog and bolt.  Everyone lets go of the rope, but one little boy, who gets dragged across my neighbors back yard.  It looked like a scene from Indiana Jones!  The kid gets up and starts yelling "Wow That Was Cool!". His two brothers join him in their excitement and they round up the dogs.  I, of course, almost had a heart attack!

Just then, the lady who owns the dogs drives up in a mini van.  Orders the dogs inside.  The dogs jump in!  Then she announces she's taking everyone for a McFlurry for doing such a good job, finding her dogs.  We call the boys Mom, she says OK.  Off the boys, dogs and Mom go in the van.  I'm left standing at the curb, wet with a rope in my hand!

Those kids are going to be talking about getting dragged across the yard, until they go back to school!  They were also very excited to find out I had a pond............

Friday, January 20, 2012

Road Not Maintained in Winter - DNR

December 2011 in Wisconsin was exceptionally warm and snow free. On one of its glorious days, I set out to hike the Ice Age Trail around Lowes Lake. In the town of Erin, down Emerald Drive there is a winding road that leads to a parking lot for the trail head to Lowes Lake. It is a beautiful area in Wisconsin’s Kettle Moraine region with rolling hills, glacial Drummonds and
deep, crystal clear lakes. Of course, as with most natural areas, it is in the middle of nowhere.

I’d hiked the trail before at the height of the fall colors, and wanted to see how beautiful the area was in the winter, with just a light dusting of snow. As I approached the road to the parking lot, I noticed a new sign. It said ROAD NOT MAINTAINED IN WINTER – DNR.

Since it was 40 degrees and any trace of snow was melting, I didn’t think too much about heading down the steep and winding drive. I felt vindicated when there were two other cars and a number of trucks parked in the lot. Off I went on my hike! It was gorgeous, tall pines, deer running through the woods, serene lake and warm temps.

Around 3:30 pm I headed back to the car. The two cars were gone, but more trucks and a jeep had arrived. So off I headed up the ½ mile road out of the park.

About half way up, there is a north facing curve, where the melting run-off had turned to ice. While I was hiking, the temperature had dropped a bit. When the car hit this spot, the wheels spun, the car refused to go any further and slid back down the hill. I thought I’d better get up a little more speed to get past the spot. Try number two resulted in a little more headway, then more wheel spinning and another long, slow slide down the hill.

I thought third time should work like a charm, if I got a little more running room and REALLY gunned it! So I backed all the way down the road, I gripped the wheel and floored it. I hit that icy spot like a pro NASCAR driver and spun out just like many pro drivers do. The car almost careened over the bottomless ravine next to the road. Only the roadside gravel stopped it. My car was now parallel across the road, with its back wheels firmly stuck in the gravel. My job was done here. I called Mark.

Mark is a very patient and understanding man. When I told him the car was stuck and asked if he wanted to come out and take a look, before I called a tow truck, he immediately asked where the hell Lowes Lake was. After an Internet search for Lowes Lake, Erin WI, he was on his way. He told me to turn on the flashers and get away from the car, just in case someone decided to hit it coming up or down the road. As it turned out, this was very good advice.

However, it was the flashers that brought everyone from miles around to look at the stuck car and comment on how it ended up that way. Most of the comments centered around three themes: poor judgment in going down the hill in a vehicle that was not four wheel drive, poor driving skills and the car needing new tires. Folks from around the area added that this never happened when the road was gravel; it wasn’t until the DNR paved the road that problems like this started to happen. The conversation deteriorated into a general discussion on how stupid the DNR was.

I let this go on for a couple of minutes, then drew on my management skills. Saying “Hey guys we are all in this together, since no one is going in or getting out of this park until my car is unstuck. Do you want me to call a tow truck?” Well this galvanized the group toward a common goal! There was now much discussion about how to get the car unstuck and this stupid lady out of here. Everyone agreed we didn’t need a tow truck!

Idea number one, I call Death WISH, was to get behind the car, push it out of the gravel onto the road and up the hill. I pointed out that even if they could get behind the car, without falling into the ravine, the car would get onto the icy patch, slide down the hill and roll over whoever was stupid enough to get behind the car in the first place. There was some grunting about how this could possibly happen, if they didn’t jump out of the way fast enough.

Idea number two, I call The MacGyver Solution, this involved pushing the car by the doors out of the gravel and down the hill back to the parking lot. Once there, I could drive the 4 mile gravel horse trail that goes through the park to a firebreak that I could take to the main road. As calmly as possible, I explained that while I could explain how I became stuck on an icy portion of road leading out of the park, I would have difficulty explaining how I became stuck halfway through the park on a #$@* horse trail!

Idea number three, I call MUSH FOR BRAINS, everyone decided what we really needed was a tow rope. Of course, no one had a tow rope. One guy had a regular rope, that he was certain could be used to tow my car up the hill. We all then spent a lot of time looking at the rope. It was a 50/50 split on whether or not the rope was strong enough to tow the car. To break the tie, I asked who would steer my car while it was being towed by the questionable rope and risk careening into the ravine, if the rope broke. No one volunteered.

About this time a women in a Ford Mustang, with a bumper sticker that said ‘Bad Ass Chicks, Drive Bad Ass Cars’ drove up. She looked at me, looked at the car, then at the group of guys and said “Call a tow truck” and drove away. Too late, the guys were hopelessly distracted. Kind of like the dog in the movie Up, when he sees a squirrel. There was now much discussion about what year the Mustang was, did anyone know if the women lived in the area, etc.

Thank god at this point Mark arrived. Mark calmly got out of his truck, walked around the car, got in, started her up and spun the tires in the gravel – like every other guy who stopped to help did. He then walked around the car again, but this time he did something brilliant. Instead of pointing the tires up the hill to try to get out, he pointed the tires down the hill. The car REALLY liked going down the hill! So down the hill he went back to the parking lot.

Now it was his turn to try three times to get the car up the hill. On his first try, he proceeded like I did on my first try. He promptly hit the icy spot and slid down the hill. On his second try, he did the NASCAR driver maneuver I did on my third try. He hit all the curves and the gravel and the icy spot just right. He was going to make it! The guys watching went wild cheering him on.

Just then a pickup truck turned into the drive, trying to get into the park, and stopped. A lady in a Porsche also stopped behind him, to see what was going on. Everyone started screaming at them to get out of the way. The guy in the truck thru it into reverse, almost hitting the lady behind him. The lady in the Porsche hit the horn, the truck guy swore, Mark hit the breaks so he wouldn’t hit the truck and slid back down the hill. There was much sadness among our little group. Everyone agreed Mark would have made it, if it wasn’t for the lady in the Porsche; she shouldn’t have stopped behind the truck.

By this time it was 5:00 pm, the sun had set, the temperature plummeted and the entire wet road turned to black ice. Mark tried a third time and didn’t even make it up to the spot, before sliding back down the hill.

We all agreed that all hope was lost as we saw Mark driving the car back to the parking lot, presumably to abandon it there until morning, when we could call a tow truck. But then we heard a loud voice from the parking lot, drifting up the ravine. No, no the voice said. You need to push the car up the hill, not pull the car up the hill. I’ve pushed ten cars up that hill with my Jeep in the past 3 days the voice said. Elaine yelled NO, knowing her Mazda 6 had a plastic bumper. But her voice was lost on the wind.

As the little group at the top of the hill watched, the Jeep driver’s two dogs jumped into the car with Mark. They’d done this before and it was fun! The car and the Jeep lined up at the bottom of the hill. The group at the top of the hill scrambled to get out of harm’s way. Then in awe, they watched as the Jeep pushed the car up the hill, with only the slightest scratch to the rear fender. The crowd went wild!

Jeff, the Jeep guy, and his two dogs went home heros that night, as they had done so many nights before.